When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I just had to put my foot down
I saw a sign today that said “85 acres of land for sale”. I thought maybe I should look into this, might be a good investment. But then I thought, “ where the hell would I put it?”
At the zoo I saw a piece of toast in a cage. The sign on the cage said: BREAD IN CAPTIVITY.
What do weightlifters in the arctic and Antarctica take?
polar roids.
what disease do tics in Florida give you?
key lime disease.
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.